Member-only story
Shit Collection
Yes, it’s about poop, so if you’re squeamish: sorry, not sorry!
Some of you may know that once you get to be of a certain age, you start having to do a whole bunch of testing stuff… Thankfully, there have been some advances, and now, instead of going in for an all-out full-blown colonoscopy, you can now get a shit kit from a place that will evaluate your sample. If it’s fine, no need to go the whole uncomfortable route. If it comes back abnormal, bingo. You lose and have to do a colonoscopy.
I was marveling at the advance of technology and stuff with my mom. She was like, “Oh yeah. I have one of those kits. It’s been in the bathroom for a few months.” I laughed. Because that’s my mom. And apparently, that apple didn’t fall far from the tree. My kit had been in my linen closet for a few weeks.
We didn’t talk about it again until maybe 2 years later? I confessed that I had let my kit expire, had to get a new one, and that I had just gotten a call in June that the new one was about to expire. I grabbed it from the linen closet and checked the expiration date. Pffftttt. November. I had all the time in the world! I put it in the hallway as a reminder.
Not that I’m squeamish about shit at all. I’m a mom of four. I’ve touched and inspected my share of shit. I once told my mom I was teaching my oldest his…
