Member-only story
The State of Mental Health
I’ve been so far down for the past three or four weeks. I’ve barely been able to get off the couch. I’ve taken care of the kids of course, as that is something that I can never allow myself to not do, no matter how far down I am. It really sucks that I only have them every other week now. It’s also a blessing. Every other week, I can just blend into the couch and no one will know the difference.
Those weeks, I can barely muster the energy to even feed myself. One week I got several prepared “take and bake” meals from Hy-Vee. This week only one sounded marginally good. Things will sound good, and I will shop for the ingredients, but when it comes to the actual making of the things, I can’t. I end up eating chips and cheese, cheese and crackers, or easy mac because I can’t bring myself to do even the most minimal of things. I procrastinate eating until 3–4 pm. Until I feel sick or like I’m going to pass out since I haven’t eaten anything. I don’t know how I got here.
I can’t tell you how much food I’ve had to toss in the past several months. I do end up snacking on most of the grapes, and giving a lot to the parrots. Same with the sugar snap peas. Those can be eaten right out of the bag. I have started getting small bags of broccoli, cauliflower, and carrots. If I can’t bring myself to eat them, I at least give them to the parrots daily. They have probably eaten better than…
